I have been banging my head against a wall for what seems like ages now, and to use just one word to perfectly explain how I feel, and that is “Ennui”.
The only reason I have used this word today, was simply because, my dear friend whom I adore, wrote in conversation yesterday “total ennui”. So I had to check it out, apparently it is French for boredom. Nowadays, in English, it is though to be defined as “a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction,” ennui also has a nuance of “self-indulgent posturing and European decadence”
Funnily enough, that’s the strange thing, I am not bored, I simply haven’t the time to be bored, there is so much going on in my life its hard to put things in an order of completion. The only things I hear these days are builders making fashionable noise, hell knows what they are doing, havent seen anything that resembles anything constructive as yet, but they sure know how to make a mess.
Someone somewhere always has a trimmer spinning and yes, right now, “can you hear it”? …. a bloody petrol powered hedge trimmer, all this constant revving, … does my head in.
Which I guess brings me to the next fashionable word, “Angst”.
These few weeks from today are definitely going to be stressing, what with the General election taking place here in the United Kingdom, and not wondering which political party are to be elected and then the fear and worry how they are literally going to direct us into, a) further turmoil and uncertainty and fear of un-made-un-promises, or b) try to save a ship from sinking. Siegmund Freud used the word ‘angst” to explain generalised anxiety. I dont think he was wrong.
And the third word for today is “Weltschmerz”.
It is German, meaning “world pain or sadness’ Perhaps I am suffering from all three of these expressions, perhaps im not, but, here are the facts. Yes, the world is in pain and it is definitely sad, …. but, we can’t do much about it by ourselves! What is the point getting upset by a petrol driven trimmer operated by a dim-witted half brain who thinks he’s Emerson Fittipaldi? Not worth it at all. And finally, there is nothing wrong with grasping a little time to sit back with a Dry Martini and lighting up a Gauloise whilst plotting future plans and thinking just how lucky I am for what I actually have, instead of what I have not.
Right folks, I’m off now to clear up the detritus that the builder whom I paid yesterday for clearing my back yard has left behind, sucks doesn’t it? Having to part with hard-earned cash when, I could have done the job myself.
And finally Esther, that word quite simply is “Smuck” !