I suppose you are wondering what a red “Poundstretcher” shopping basket is doing on my doorstep? Well, listen in and let me explain.
Thursday or Friday is shopping day for us, either we go together as a pair of whinging pensioners bickering all the time or as a single whirling dervish trying to beat the week previous’ time.
Morrison’s bags in hand and car key at the ready, I start my stopwatch, it reads 10:36, by my reckoning I should be returned, unpacked and eating lunch wraps by 2pm.
This particular day is busy, seems the national speed limits have been declassified to a lower number and there is no way Brabinger can be let loose. Eventually pulling into the car park I find a space, a bit further away than the normally unreserved reserved space nearer to exit, but, what’s a bit more exercise going to do? Kill me?
Bingo, I spy an unleashed shopping trolley and with my folded A4 shopping list I aim it toward Lidl, noticing the lovely plants outside the next shop. I think to myself that a few of those lovely French lavender’s would be great in my garden, ‘got to love the bees haven’t you!
Anyway, a trolley nearly full, approximately seventy-five percent worth, it is checked out in superb time, twenty-five minutes, that’s one for the records. Not really a trick, but far easier to bag your goods at car than be pressurised at checkout. So, all bags now filled and lined up neatly in the boot, now for those lavender plants.
I trundle the trolley back and kindly give it to a lady searching desperately for her pound coin. We exchange pleasantries and continue our set tasks, I head to “Pound-stretcher”, grab a red shopping basket, staring at the amount of customers I assume that they must be busy, I huff at the length of the queue, but I was determined, I placed three plants in the basket ensuring the fold up handles did not damage the flowering heads and with my left hand grabbed a fourth and joined the wavy line of eager shoppers wishing to exchange cash for goods.
What seemed like an eternity and getting claw fingers from holding on tight to the loose planter I saw an empty cashier, I plonked the items on to the counter, to which the red tee shirted assistant informed me that they were in fact not their items but ones sold by Lidl. Embarrassed I had wasted time in that queue I slipped out and joined yet another heaving line of cash only shoppers in the correct establishment. Eventually, and with a strange look from the lad with a blonde Mohican I placed the alien shopping basket on the conveyor, showed him the solitary bar code and said that there were four in total. Whilst I handed him my ‘purple-back’ he pointed at the red basket and gave me yet another funny look.
I got back to the car, no more Morrison’s bags to transfer the plants into …….. what shall I do? ‘thinks thinks’
Et voila …….
I will take it back, honestly.