I’ve always been a bit of a sucker for candy and anything sticky and sweet, in fact, I had to undergo treatment for continuously eating wine gums, not just any wine gum, not the ones from the pound rack, or the loose ones on a “pick & Mix” stall but, ONLY the best ones available, Those beautiful BEAUTIFUL Maynards! I would just swallow them instead of chewing, and attempt to break any record I may of held previous of just how many I could get into my greedy gob before starting to make stupid noises and blow snot bubbles out of my nose, I continued to fill my stomach to busting point.
The was a growing and continuous problem, at a tender age nearing my mid-forties, I was a grown man with another bad addiction. So, someone recommended I go and see a Hypnotist …. Gloria answered her own door which opened from Baker Street, W1, she was mature of age, tall and slim, her pink Chanel Suit and the black houndstooth design matched her immaculate suede high heels, I was welcomed into her home, the interior was stunning, I followed her, her manicured hand slid slowly and seductively tight on the hardwood rail on top of the wrought iron bannisters, I watched her arse sashay seductively from side to side as she ascended the winding stairs, a chandelier hung from yet another level and we entered into her studio. I was in awe and totally distracted by the amount of wealth and beauty of this property.
She asked me to sit opposite her, after gently adjusting herself in her chair, she started to play swirly fingers and thumbs with herself, asking my problem, I told her I could not stop eating wine gums, and how ill I had made myself, and asked would she please help me. ……. I closed my eyes, and was asked to concentrate on her voice, not what she was saying, but to tune into her tone. Somewhere in her mellow script she mentioned how hard her upbringing was and that family life to her at an early age was dire, she worked many hours cleaning and achieved nothing because she spent all her spare cash on rubbish and worthless items, and then one day she happened to go and clean for a very very wealthy lady who lived in a very large house ………………… and that sometimes when you feel you deserve a treat, then have one, she clicked her fingers and I awoke, rather stunned.
I have never eaten a wine gum since that session, which by the way was in 2002.
The Turkish Delight is a return holiday gift from Chris, a reward for looking after the house and the dogs, so, this afternoon, I shall enjoy it whilst watching Miss Marple and The Blue Geranium. As I open the mysterious purple foiled wrapper I wonder if the veiled beautiful lady that features in The Frys TV advert is actually Gloria telling me to treat myself for all of the hard work that I do …. I certainly think so!